What the hell is Ditch the Tiara?

Redefining the word beautiful...one dirty, sweaty, bruised up mile at a time, with a few downward dogs along the way...

Monday, February 2, 2009

Headcase


Still feeling sore from Friday's yoga, I decided to go ahead and swim anyways. Maybe the water would loosen me up and of course, the extended "hot tub session" afterwards would definitely make me feel better.

Having spent Saturday night with 2 amazing swimmers, I had many new thoughts about making my stroke more efficient. I headed to the pool with excitement and determination. I also had my new 'replacement' tempo trainer and was ready to get back into some sort of rhythm, perhaps helping me find my way in the water again.

Unfortunately, all I heard was noise in my head and I spent too much time thinking and not enough time relaxing. I am not sure how far I swam but I ended up feeling disappointed. I have lost the feeling of knowing what I'm doing in the water. I know it will come back and I simply have to wipe the slate aka my mind clean and just do what 'feels' right rather than what everyone else thinks I should do.

This is the exact reason why I don't golf depsite having spent my entire teenage years on a golf course caddying. I am what is known as a 'headcase.' I would spend hours practicing my swing and when there was an actual ball below me, "slice, miss, dub" you name it. I no longer own a 3 iron - it was tossed gingerly at a tree and accidentally snapped in half. oops. There was just too much noise in my head.

I want so desperately to excel at everything and when I don't, I end up obliterating my self-esteem with negative thoughts, something I have done my entire life. However, this time around, I will dust myself off and hit the pool again tomorrow and the next day and the next... because there is always the hot tub afterwards to make me feel better!

1 comment:

knopfler said...

we all think you a stud, don't be so hard on yourself :)