What the hell is Ditch the Tiara?

Redefining the word beautiful...one dirty, sweaty, bruised up mile at a time, with a few downward dogs along the way...

Sunday, October 11, 2009

A bit of an awakening

Waking up to gray skies, very chilly temperatures and loads of snow still on the ground, I was definitely "put off" and didn't want to change out of my fleece pj's, let alone face the premature winter weather for a 16 mile long run. The only saving grace was that I was meeting up with the Average Skirt so we could tackle this beotch together. She's headed to the East Coast in 2 weeks with the beej for the Cape Cod Marathon and needed one last long run before her taper. Team Gumkowski is going to tear up out there!

We made our way out into what I can only describe as "the great depression" and headed to downtown Boulder. It was frigid. My fingers went numb almost instantly. I was layered but not overdone. I definitely tend to overdress and recently read that you should dress like it's going to be 20 degrees warmer when doing long runs/marathons. I found that to be excellent advice today.

The beej escorted us for a few miles before departing and Jess and I winded our way through North Boulder, then East Boulder, back to South Boulder. Running with her made the time fly by except for the last 2.85 miles. Perhaps it was the somber skies or the empty streets, covered in snow, that made that last bit drag on. It certainly deflated my spirit and I just wanted. to. be. done. My body felt great but I was lacking motivation and excitement for what I was doing.

Finishing this run was a major "mental" victory as I had spent the final 1.5 miles wanting to quit right where I was. I can't thank Jess enough for getting me through it!!

After the Great Floridian, I am ready for a break. Physically. Mentally. From training. From Ironman. From a structured workout schedule. Please don't get me wrong - I am SO very fortunate that I am able to do these things [by choice] and the fact that I can afford this sport and my body is healthy is truly a blessing. However, I am simply getting to a point of not appreciating any of that and I feel like it's time to try something new or do nothing at all. However, you look at it, I need to fall in love with the rest of my life the way I fell in love with Ironman. I know it won't be easy and I will be out of my comfort zone for awhile but it's time. I feel that I have begun to use [training for] Ironman as a way of avoiding many things. Oh, I can't because I'm training for Ironman...Sorry, I'll have to pass because I'm training for Ironman...I wish I could BUT I'm training for Ironman. It has allowed me to put off or push away people, feelings and things that I simply didn't want to deal with. I need to start living in "my life," the life of Kristina, not the life of an Ironman...and once I am comfortable with just being "me" and really taking care of my own needs can I then think about this amazing sport again. I really do love it so much and Ironman will always be a part of my life. I know I will miss it like crazy next year... but it's time to love myself more.


Aldi26 said...

Well look at you with a fancy new layout and deep thoughts for the blog.. :)

Congrats on hardening up to finish the long run! Sounds like you 2 Skirts make quite the team!

I agree...as soon as something that used to be fun becomes not so much fun it's time to step back, take a break, and reavaluate! Can't wait to see what new adventure you pick for next year! :)

RunnerChick said...

Love your new layout! As always, you inspire me. I wish you all the best in Florida and in your journey ahead. Love you girl!

KK said...

Great post! I agree, time for kristina. Ironman will always be there, so it can wait.

The burnout part really resonated with me. I'm thinking the long awaited break will be just what the doctor ordered.

Good luck next week!!!

Amy said...

Is it wrong that I'm sort of tearing up for some reason? Not because I'm sad but because I know where you're coming from. What a great post.....