It's Thanksgiving. My intention this morning was to run a marathon. Yes, 26.2 miles for F.U.N. I was going to run the 6.4 mile loop by my house 4 times and then cool down with a victory "lap" with Mike. I was going to call it the Many Thanks Marathon, dedicating each mile to someone/something wonderful that I am incredibly grateful and thankful for to have in my life. However, at about mile 4, I really didn't want to do it. I was overtaken by guilt. There was so much to do around the house and getting ready for our wonderful meal. How I could take off for 4 1/2 selfish hours while Mike tended to the girls, the house and the cooking alone? We were supposed to be celebrating this holiday together. I felt like I was doing the exact opposite of what I should have been doing. I felt terribly ungrateful and stopped at 6.4 miles.
When I walked in the door, Mike asked "what are you doing? You're supposed to be running!" I explained my feelings and told him that I didn't want to do it. I wanted to feel like a "normal" person and think that 6.4 miles was p-l-e-n-t-y of exercise. I told him I wanted to know why I always felt this need to go farther, and workout harder than everyone else. I just wanted to be happy and thankful for what I had just accomplished and not feel this burning necessity to do MORE. He said he understood but kept urging me to go back out and finish. I asked why? He said because you're my inspiration...You're my running hero. Jayzus, did I start crying then. I love this man so much and spend so much time away from him, swimming and biking and running. I am constantly in need of alone time. He is ridiculously supportive of me. Sometimes I feel like I don't deserve him. A lot of times I probably don't. I am difficult. Impatient. Highly irritable. Stubborn. But all of the time I truly am, simply, thankful. When I count my blessings, I count him twice. He understands me more than anyone else could. I love him and am so grateful for him. He often jokes that I couldn't live without him. and he's right.
*So stay tuned... the Many Thanks Marathon has been postponed until Sunday.