What the hell is Ditch the Tiara?

Redefining the word beautiful...one dirty, sweaty, bruised up mile at a time, with a few downward dogs along the way...

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Mid-week

With each passing day, Sunday is a distant memory and I have more important things to focus on. Much more important... these past few months have been incredibly difficult for me emotionally.  It's no secret that I have been battling depression and anxiety since I was a teenager.  About 3 months ago, I started taking the drug lexapro and I have found that it is simply not working.  I can't sleep (literally, I get anywhere from 3-5 hours a night) and my jaw is tense and clenching, a lot.  With all the working out that I do and the endorphins I am constantly feeding my body as a result of it, I firmly believe that I am past the point of childhood bullshit and low self-esteem issues.  I am a veteran of therapy and recognize my weaknesses and triggers.  This depression is something else, more severe.  I am going to trust the influence of an incredibly good friend and go down a more holistic and ancient path...acupuncture and herbal medicine.  If it was good enough for Chinese Emperors 3,000 years ago, it is good enough for me.  I tried acupuncture once before but that was for hip pain.  This will be different and I believe incredibly effective. 

But despite battling some "demons," I managed to ride 22 more miles yesterday, 17 miles this morning and then run 8 miles after work.  I am feeling really good physically and can see some light at the end of the tunnel...my first acupuncture appointment is this Saturday. 

2 comments:

Christi said...

Wow, that was a very honest post. I am sorry that you have suffered from depression and anxiety because I know how bad it can be. I too suffer from it and I struggle everyday. I wish you the best with the alternative methods. Please let me know if they work!

Go.2.Belle said...

Sis.
Lemme know how you are. While we all have our own bags of ... baggage, I'm not too busy for you. Love, M