What the hell is Ditch the Tiara?

Redefining the word beautiful...one dirty, sweaty, bruised up mile at a time, with a few downward dogs along the way...

Sunday, June 26, 2011

It's time.

Training was going well.  Despite some setbacks with my glute/hamstring, I was making progress in PT and starting to feel good again.  Then, something hit me.  I am not sure what it was or how it came to fruition.  Maybe it was the repetitive alarm wake-ups at 4am or the countless "sorry I can't make it replies" to being invited to events.  After a really long talk with my little sis in the garage (she is also my new neighbor in case you didn't know they moved here from Florida!) she asked me, Do you even want to do this race?  And I was like, without hesitation or warning, No.  I don't want to.  I don't want to train.  I don't want to race.  I don't want to continue "not living."  You see, for over 3 years, I thought living was Ironman training and racing. Pushing myself past exhaustion. And in fact, it was quite the opposite.  for me anyways. I mean, who did I think I was...Chrissie Wellington?  So, that night, I emailed the Vineman race director and politely asked for my money back.  I don't want to do this anymore.  This is completely new territory for me.  I have no races on the calendar this summer.  Not even a marathon.  I can't tell you how liberating and freeing this is for me.  I have nothing left to prove, to myself or anyone.  I really never did.  But I didn't realize that until now.  I need to focus on my husband and my furry babies and my family and my friends.  I probably need to gain 10 pounds.  I need to sleep more.  Train less.  I need to live. And I couldn't be more confident or happier.  I am redefining my defitnition of normal.  and Mike and I are still going to San Francisco/Sonoma at the end of July.  For a vacation.  A real vacation, without a race.  It's time.  

11 comments:

Janine said...

I couldn't be more proud of you in this blogpost!

Laura said...

:) love this.

Jen said...

I am so proud of you! This makes my heart sing! Where I've been for awhile...such a fabulous and freeing place!

KK said...

I'm so happy to read this. It's like reading the thoughts in my own head, actually. Looking forward to many outings with you in the future that don't involve swimming, biking or running!!!

michelle.belle. said...

:D

Diane Jensen said...

You are an amazing daughter...I love you!

Rebecca Rushmore said...

What an amazing piece of transparent and thought-filled writing this is... What a blessing you are to so many. I love you, cuz!

TarynMurtagh said...

Good for you, beautiful lady. You listened to what you need and acted on it. Right on!

Miss Mandy said...

congratulations on starting the next phase in your life. I've only started running this year, but with three kids and work, it won't have the chance to take over even if I want it to. lol. Down the track it might find a small spot in your new day.

Melissa said...

Great post! I've thought so much about this type of thing in the past month. Hope you are enjoying your days :-)

Amy said...

Can you tell I'm behind?! Wow. I am proud of you, like everyone else. I can't wait to catch up and hear how summer's been treating you. And find out how your upcoming vacation goes! Big decision made in this post and I hope you enjoy the break.