What the hell is Ditch the Tiara?

Redefining the word beautiful...one dirty, sweaty, bruised up mile at a time, with a few downward dogs along the way...

Thursday, February 20, 2014

((( the bubble )))

For the first time since I began my obsession with Ironman 6 years ago, I was finally able to do something  entirely out of character. I'm actually shocked that I not only recognized, but seized an opportunity to push myself so FAR out of my comfort zone.  It was the kind of shove I needed in order to take a long, healthy, overdue break from an overly-obsessive regimented way of living...also known as "my life."

The scenario: I'm knee deep in IMTX training...it feels like I never really stopped after Louisville, I mean it's not like I had anything else going on.  I wasn't sore or hurting (I already know what you all are thinking!) so why sit around and do nothing (aka REST.) Anyways, I'm an over-achiever by default and I suck at chillin' out. BUT by now you probably already know that. The thing is, I would normally never, ever, EVER even think about taking a trip or consider going on a vacation that would interrupt my (self-imposed) faux-Pro disciplined training schedule (seriously - who the hell do I think I am?!  It's not like I'm getting paid to do this shit!!!) And then about 3 weeks ago, I received an email from one of *the Aunts* - a Carnival Cruise Line employee. She was offered the chance to extend screaming cheap deals on cruises to her family. She let us know that she and UR were thinking about a 4 day Mexican Riviera trip. Hm. I started to entertain the thought, quickly deducing how many days my training schedule would be out of whack. Unlike a 'normal' person, I immediately went to the ship's website to research my work-out/training options onboard. I didn't think about cost or requesting vacation time or RELAXING. My co-worker/cubie-mate/friend was encouraging me to go. She's fully aware and overly immersed in my Ironman insanity and ridiculous trials and tribulations of my (non-existent) love and social life by default of proximity. (sorry LD -xo) I'm either highly entertaining or grossly annoying her at any given moment. But...she is sweet and patient and genuinely wants to see me happy... Sooooo, out of respect for her (I mean, she deserves it, right?) I emailed my Aunt back and said I was ... {GULP} ... interested in the four day cruise ... and immediately thought, "Holy crap- what have I done?"

You know what I did? -- the moment I hit "SEND" -- I took a blind leap of faith, fully armed with serious conviction and a giant safety pin, said a quick prayer and swung hard...my aim was dead on...and I finally burst ((( the bubble )))

((( the bubble ))) as defined by me:
/T͟Hē ˈbəbəl/ noun
the massive, protective force field built out of ignorance and fear,  that I have diligently constructed around my entire life, and more specifically my heart,  for the past 6 years, as a means to protect myself from being disappointed and deeply hurt by others, which has since isolated me from reality, fortunate situations and genuine happiness.
"I've been living in the bubble for way too long."

... and so 3 weeks later, my crazy-stubborn-self~disciplined-ignorant-overly-hard-working-creature-of-habit-stunted-social-life-ass went on not a four, but a SEVEN DAY cruise to the Mexican Riviera -- Puerto Vallarta and Cabo -- yes, please and thank you! It had been 9 years since I spent 10 consecutive days away from routines and responsibilities. Maybe it's time? You know, for genuine happiness to come from real life experiences and not IM accomplishments? (thank you A&C aka "the kids", C.D. and J.K. for relentlessly telling me that I deserve so much more from life, my life!) A little ocean time and a lot of sunshine goes a long way to a girl like me...bubbles be damned! Would I do this again though, go on a 7 day cruise?  Hm. How many bottles of wine can we bring onboard next time???  Let's just take it one bubble-bursting step at a time... 

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